Crazy Disciple

Crazy Disciple: a New Day

Greetings!

Welcome to the ramblings and writings of a man aiming to always be a crazy disciple of Christ. My name is Scott, and it's a pleasure to share some of this journey with you. This blog has been around for many reasons since the beginning, but most recently I wanted to resurrect it as a memoir of life and my continued journey in faith. I hope you find it interesting, I can at least guarantee you that it will be real. Thanks for stopping by, please feel free to comment and let me know you're here.

-Scott

Shooting Stars

I was recently given the opportunity to write an entry for an advent devotional, and that experience was what reminded me how much I enjoy writing.   I thought it might be nice to share it here:  

Having been only four months since I had given my life to Christ, I had no idea what I was in for.  It was a men’s retreat, and what is that anyway?   A bunch of men going to the mountains to hear from some author and perhaps get a glimpse of something different in their lives?   This particular retreat was based on a book called “Wild at Heart” and was actually with the author; I was fortunate enough to have been directed towards this book in the infancy stages of my faith, and the string of events that got me there was uncanny.  While I felt wildly out of place, I kept finding little hints that I was supposed to be there, and for some reason, it seemed God wanted me to hear this message.

Night two was based on a simple yet perplexing concept; hearing the voice of God.   Now take in mind, I was new to all of this, and I had plenty of residual trauma from not only leading a life very far from Christ, but also leading a life where I had formulated many ideas about Christianity that were inauthentic and certainly negative.   Here I was sitting amongst a group of three-hundred pastors and missionaries, and then there was this newbie that just didn’t get it all.  Finally a time came when we were instructed to take some questions to God, we prayed together that God would help us find out who we were in that time, and we collectively asked to hear his voice.  To make this easier, or perhaps more symbolic, all of the men entered into a “covenant of silence” until the next meeting that night, and we all went off to hear from the Lord.

I walked briskly out of the meeting hall of this Young Life camp and trekked as quickly as I could up the winding path into the mountains.   We were already at 9,000 feet, so the oxygen didn’t come easily.   The night was dark, no moon, and the camp lights quickly faded as I trekked up the hill.   In spite of the cold of the early spring I had to take my jacket off; I was generating quite a bit of heat.  After going for what seemed like forever, I started to continue my prayers from earlier, “God”, I whispered between breaths, “Who am I?   Why did you rescue me?”  I lowered my expectations and disqualified myself before even giving God a time to act, “I don’t really expect to hear your voice on this trip God, but if you really are there, then a shooting star or some sort of indicator would be nice."   Having exhausted all of my energy I stopped, laid down on a bed of pine needles in the near pitch black and looked up at the stars…   nothing shooting, no indicators, just silence.

Crunch, crunch, crunch, I heard off in the distance.  It seemed to be coming from behind me, up the mountain, as if someone had actually made it further than me and was now coming down that same path.   I waited until they got just close enough and then broke my own covenant of silence with a projected whisper towards a dark figure, “did you hear anything?”  My question was met with a disappointed, “no.  Did you?”  “No,” I said, “I’ve just been sitting here and you’re the first sound I heard.”  “I’m Jake” the stranger extended his hand and I shook it, “I’m Scott.”   Jake then asked if he could join me, and we sat there on the mountain side and started talking.

Strangely enough, we couldn’t see each other’s faces, only hear each other’s voices, and in that place of darkness came an opportunity for extreme vulnerability.   “What were your questions” I asked, and he shared and then asked me what mine were, and we proceeded to talk through how we thought God would have answered them, how we would have wanted him to.   And in that moment, there was this crazy realization, that maybe we were actually hearing God’s voice through each other?   Maybe, just maybe, God had put each of us there to share with the other exactly what God needed us to know.   Then without a pause the brightest and most glorious shooting star I have ever seen went across the sky. 

Malachi 3:16-18 - ¹⁶ Then those who feared the Lord talked with each other, and the Lord listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in his presence concerning those who feared the Lord and honored his name.

TEN YEARS AGO TODAY... can you believe it?

It’s hard to believe it has been ten years.  I have been thinking over the last few days what I would write today; what significant and meaningful thing I could talk about to memorialized this day yet again.   I was struck by the fact that there are several friends reading this who don’t really know my history, perhaps we’ve only become friends in the last year and you’ve never seen a post like this from me before, perhaps we’ve never really talked about how I got here.  Maybe it’s time we did. 

Ten years ago today, on this very day in 2014 I was a different person.  I had been working in the nightclub industry for many years as a professional DJ, and I had made a lot of decisions in my life that were not actually giving me life; in fact, quite the opposite.   I reached the end of my rope back then, my ‘bottom’ so to speak and didn’t know how to come back.   I was struggling to not only find fulfillment in life, but moreover struggling to live at all.   I was so ashamed of who I truly was that I lead a life full of lies and even had a hard time remembering which of them was the truth.  I remember that day well, and the overwhelming lack of hope as I looked deeply into my own demise.  

Thankfully, through the Grace of an amazing and loving God I was invited to a church that day, not for what was there, but moreover for what was *not* there.   Perhaps it was a place that I could be safe for one more night and not have to deal with the temptations and fears that had filled so much of each thought.  

I remember sitting in that church, the now famous and deeply loved Destiny Church and listening to what was to me ‘foreign’ music and thoughts that struck chords in me.   I remember doubting the truth of so many of the statements, and really struggling to catch glimpses of hope amongst my own confusion, but one thing stood out to me, perhaps the simplest and most meaningful sermon a guy like me could hear: “God’s not mad at you.  He loves you.”

I decided, reluctantly on that day to try ‘being a Christian’ and whatever that meant for a period of thirty days.  I had no idea what that entailed, but what I had been doing was clearly not working… so maybe this was worth a try. 

Thirty days became three months, which turned into six, and eventually a full year.  It was amazing to see the progression of a life given to Christ.   I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by amazing and loving people who truly invited me to be *me*, and while I didn’t always know what that meant, that was ok too.   Yes, I was the guy in the church dropping f-bombs and off color jokes…   but no one was bothered by that, they instead saw what God was doing *in* me and celebrated each step of the way.

It’s been TEN years since that day, a decade.   In that time I have gained education, been sent overseas in missions,  helped start multiple churches, and even been tested a few times.   I have found difficult seasons when I had to truly evaluate my walk, and I have found glorious ones as well, where the floodgates of heaven really *did* pour out more than I could ever receive.   What’s the take away?   That my faith is not fragile… that God doesn’t let go, and that this journey is really about seeking truth and finding love, and ultimately helping others do the same.    

It’s been ten years.   TEN YEARS, and I have so much more to learn, to see, to grow into, and to do.   Thankfully in this
 year I have finally found my partner for the rest of these years in my lovely wife Christine, and we hope to have a family soon.   My faith brought me here, it brought me to my job, to my wife, to my home, and to my church, and it will continue to lead me for eternity.   It’s been ten years… can you believe it?  

Thank you Jesus for saving me.   Thank you for giving me a life far better than I ever could have dreamed.  Thank you for giving me an adventure to live, and thank you for loving me.  

And lastly to each of you… my friends and family for encouraging me along the way.   Thanks for seeing my future long before I did, and thanks for helping me see it, walk toward it, and ultimately get there.   There’s clearly more to come, but today I have to say thanks.   Ten years.   30 days turned into TEN YEARS.   What a ride!!!   

Ok, so that picture is a bit big.  Hey, what can I say... I'm out of practice.  I need to get back in the habit of writing here and get all the tools together that are required for that.   In the short-term, I am using the TypePad inteface which is fairly limited, and just working at writing something a little bit each work day.  While I will count this as a post, I am fairly sure the text will get lost...   so I will write another one.  :)

Nearly five years later

Has it really been that long? Soooooooo much has changed since I last wrote on this blog, and as of yesterday, I decided to get back on it.

Why?

Because reading back through these posts from so many years ago has really made my heart happy. Blogging was good for me... I enjoyed writing, and I enjoyed sharing my life with people for a period of time. At some point, it became less than fun, and I gave it up.

SO... this will be my first post back in almost five years. I'll keep this one short, although there is a LOT to say.

BTW... looks like I still have three subscribers. Wow, you're a patient lot. Shoot me a comment if you are reading along. So much to catch you all up on, so much... time for me to get back into being a Crazy Disciple.

Ok, so here’s the story:

Undoubtedly you have by now seen me, or perhaps other people you follow on Twitter start posting message like “vote for casket” or “I voted for Casket” or “Casket crashes the super bowl!”  What all of this is about, is a commercial contest that Doritos is running for the super bowl.  It was an open call for anyone who wanted to make a 30 second commercial for Doritos, and over 4,000 submissions were sent in.   Some people from Mosaic, Erwin and over 100 volunteers got together and created two spots.  This spot, “Casket” is one of them, and it was selected in the TOP SIX FINALISTS FOR THE CONTEST!!!!   All six of those finalists get to actually GO TO THE SUPERBOWL, and at the Super Bowl, the top THREE of those six will be shown as actual commercials DURING the Super Bowl.   Are you following all of this? 

While it definitely needs to be mentioned that the overall winner receives one million dollars, it is more important to realize that this was the creation of some people just like you and me, people who go to Mosaic, and people who have a heart for changing the world.   One of the ways that we hope to impact that world is through doing everything we do with excellence and showing the heart and likeness of God through our creations.   Some might argue the relevance of a corn chip commercial to do just that, but ironically, it is creating quite a buzz that a Pastor, a follower of CHRIST, and a CHURCH created something of this high a caliber and that could potentially win this contest.   THAT IS SOOOOOOOO COOL!!!!!

So here’s the deal…  for the entire month of January, we (the voting public) get to choose through voting on the Doritos website which THREE of the SIX finalists are being shown.  THIS IS WHERE YOUR HELP IS NEEDED!!!   Follow these links, get to the right websites, and VOTE EVERY DAY.  PLEASE.  You too can be a part of what is happening… and it is SOOO COOOL!!!!!!!  www.voteforcasket.com

Oh, and here is a promotional teaser that Erwin filmed for that website:  Make sure and VOTE!!!!

Memory Triggers, so nice.

I am sitting here at my desk in the wonderful Mosaic offices, enjoying the peace and effectiveness that comes from being one of three people crazy enough to work on Christmas eve eve.  The music of Lamb booms through my headphones, and each song, each and every song brings back vivid memories of a similar time in Paris.  It wasn’t all that long ago when I was walking through the cold rain, to and from French classes, along the basin de la villette and canal saint martin, listening to this very same music.  Amazingly, I can still feel the rain on my face, the warmth of my wool coat and scarf, and the crisp cool Parisian air cutting through my nose with each and every breath.  

I try not to spend too much time feeling the loss, the “missing” of being there; instead engaging in the moments of now and letting the past be the past, and the now be the now.   It’s amazing to me however, that seemingly innocuous experiences such as listening to music, smelling fragrances and tasting tastes bring me right back to a moment, or a collection of moments, and in that split second I am right back where it seems I have left my heart.  I will return there soon, even if only for a visit.  I simply must, and well before it gets warm.  I need to experience my favorite city again, while it engages in the perfect moments that come from this season.    Joyeux Noel mes amis, vous me manquez beaucoup, et je vais tous vous revoir bientot!

Holiday Magic, Only Believe

Alright, I admit it… I didn’t really think that I would have such an incredible day at Disneyland.  I was excited to get to join much of the Mosaic staff there though, and share in some bonding and memory-forming times.  Little did I know that I would be swept away in the magic that is Disney, and would spend over 12 hours smiling ear-to-ear and revisiting pieces of my childhood long forgotten.   While I don’t have another experience to compare it to, I must say that Disneyland is quite an impressive way to usher in the holidays (I know, I know, I’m late!)

I don’t have kids, and honestly I haven’t been exposed to anything Disney in a very long time, so it was really interesting to have these memories bubble up of books that I read as well as (red) cassette tapes, and colorful records that I listened to as a kid with that signature Disney sound.  I even found myself remembering the “Wonderful World of Disney” that used to play Sunday nights on CBS when I was but a wee lad.  Oh those memories were tucked so far away, but today I had the chance to revisit them and even be a kid again…  Purely magical moments.

Every corner we turned was such an inspiration, in that it was the dream and vision of so many different people who came together to create a place later to be dubbed “the happiest place on earth.”  It certainly felt like that to me today.   The perfect moment came as the finale fireworks ended.  The lights were brought back up on main street, where we had collected to watch them, and snow magically appeared in the air, drifting into the hearts and minds of kids and adults alike.   The look of wonder on their faces was simply beautiful.   Snow you say, why is SNOW such a big deal…  well, it was 70 degrees outside (21 C) !!   I just kept hearing in my head, “only believe.”  This last picture I’ll share is of a father, holding his son to the sky in that awesome Mufasa fashion, just so that he too can experience the magic of this night.  What a beautiful moment that was, and a perfect ending to an amazing day.  Awesome stuff, simply awesome.
  

We can be the generation who changed the world

My great friend and brother across the sea Mark McCord sent me this link today, and I simply had to share it with you.   After just leaving Project Homeless Connect, and being a part of touching some 2,500 homeless people’s lives; giving a bit more access to health care, shelter, eye glasses, blankets, food, and to love; I cannot feel more attached to these words than I do right now.  We really CAN be the generation that changes the world.   It’s true!  I feel absolutely riveted by the hands I held today, the eyes I looked into, and the stories I heard.  Not because they broke my heart, but because they lifted up a hope and fire within me that I haven’t felt that strongly in some time.   As Bono says in this eloquent speech, “God is with us as we are with them.”  I felt that so incredibly deeply today… and I MUST find a way to experience that MORE.  We really *can* make a difference, it only requires willingness and looking beyond ourselves.

I could go on and on, of course…  but let me just leave this post with Bono’s words.  He really does say it so well.

William ROCKS IT OUT

You very might well recognize this amazing vocalist as the one and only William Jones, my great friend back in Paris.   I shared several great evenings walking the streets of Paris with William, checking out different venues and bands, and just taking in life in France.   We even did one of my favorite photo shoots right before I left… awww, we had some awesome times, me and him, and well, William has now hit it big… 

One thing I keep learning over and over again is that the people who hit and achieve stardom are the people who are our friends, neighbors, and fellow adventurers on a path that we call life.   When those people are only seen from afar they seem so untouchable, but as the people around me keep finding all these levels of success, I keep finding myself reminded of how amazingly human and awesome they are…  as people, long before they were awesome artists, entertainers, actors, dancers, or singers.   William is the perfect case of this.

Just a few months back, as I watched William play at Fete de La Musique, out in front of our awesome little church, I thought to myself over and over again…  “This guy has really got something special.”  Now I can say that I am thrilled to see that the world sees it too.  My hat is off to you William, my brother, my friend, my fellow traveler…  we will see each other again soon, but until then, stay you.   

Project Homeless Connect

Tomorrow, December 10 2009, over 700 volunteers from Mosaic are mobilizing all over Los Angeles for Project Homeless Connect; a day where multiple agencies, services and helps-organizations come together to central locations to provide one-stop shops for restarting people’s lives.  It is sure to be a life-changing day for everyone involved, both for the homeless and needy who are getting the help and love they desperately need, and also for those of us who are serving and working and helping in every way we can.   I am excited to be a part of this initiative;  joining the crew of 250 congregating on Skid Row, in downtown LA.  We will undoubtedly be meeting and connecting with people ready for a change in their lives…   I am excited to be a part of it. 

If you’re in the LA area, come join us!   Check out the website for more info.